THE POWER TO
CHOOSE
by Dee Stokes, Winston Salem State
Oftentimes we take
for granted the ability we have to make our own decisions in
life. Authors Stephen Covey & Michael Burt write that there is a
space between stimulus and response in which we determine
(choose) how to respond. For example, the stimulus could be
someone sideswiping your car at the drive-thru. Before you pull
out that 9 millimeter and blow the guy's head off, shouldn't you
think about the decision that should (needs to be) made in this
case? We as coaches don't spend enough time contemplating which
choices to make when it comes to recruiting, dealing with
administrators, hiring, dealing with players, etc. We get caught
up in the emotion and business of coaching. We need to make
better choices and use this ability effectively.
Now, going back to my original statement...this ability to
choose is so powerful. Some would call it God's gift of
freewill. It is more powerful than we can fathom & without it we
are slaves to humanity. We choose when to get up/go to bed. We
choose who to marry and quite often when to divorce. We choose
what job/occupation to have. We choose what to wear, drive, eat,
and where to live. How powerful is that? In my almost 38 years
of living, I cannot think of too many times, even as a child,
when I could not make most choices for my life. I cherish the
idea to CHOOSE! Let's not forget how powerful this ability is.
It is a birthright, a gift, a responsibility, a privilege!
Choose wisely today!
DEFINING
TRANSITION
by Dee Stokes, Winston Salem State
Transition can mean a
number of things. In a basketball coach’s mind transition
usually means transitioning from offense to defense or from
defense to offense. We also term transitioning from “D” to “O”
as a transition break or secondary break or even fast break.
According to Webster, the definition of transition is this:
“passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another:
CHANGE; a movement, development, or evolution from one form,
stage, or style to another.” Change, moving from one state to
another…We here at WSSU are going through this phase called a
“transition.” We are transitioning from Division II to Division
I and this was our first season with a full Division I schedule
and in order for this program to move, we within, must change.
Our habits, our discipline, our work ethic, our thought process,
everything must change.
Some might say, “What a daunting task,” but most of us coaches
look at situations like this and smile because we love a
challenge. I took this job in April of 2006 because I wanted a
challenge. It has been a challenge so far, but quite honestly we
have won more games than some might have expected, and played
close in more than we should have. A different call or basket
here or there and we would have two wins over established ACC
programs. We did it all with players recruited to play at the
Division II level.
We’ve worked hard and it can only get better from here. At the
conclusion of this season (February 21), we will move into our
next stage in this transition where we finish recruiting for
this season and move into preparations for the next. Coaching is
a non-stop 24 hour 7 day a week job, and we still have more work
that needs to be done. We are looking forward to this
“transition.”
I would encourage anyone going through a transition in their
lives or careers to take a step back and look at the positive
aspects of it. My Athletic Director always says that we should
focus on what is right about our situations and not what is
wrong. I think he may have something there. What is right about
your job, relationship, or situation? It is hard to make changes
sometime, but as long as they are for the betterment of the
program or situation, then change is very good. Keep on keeping
on and make positive strides!
The Game is
Bigger Than Me
by Dee Stokes, Winston Salem State
DAs I was driving
down the street one day (my best thoughts come at weird times,
of course) a thought popped into my mind…”The game is bigger
than ME…!” It prompted me to dig a bit deeper and eventually
more thoughts filled my head which led me to pen this poem:
“The game is bigger than ME…
The church is bigger than ME…
The university is bigger than ME…
The relationship is bigger than ME…
The job is bigger than ME…
Religion is bigger than ME…
The organization is bigger than ME…
Life is bigger than ME…
Learn to respect these things because it is NOT all about ME…”
First speaking as a basketball coach, many think that coaching
is so glamorous and that we only work during the season, take
the summer off, are greedy, and make too much money. I don’t
blame those in the million dollar coach club (of which I am not
a member) for asking for more because we are all pulled here and
there and have to answer to too many.
Our personal lives
are often turned upside down because of the passion and drive we
have. It is much more of a sacrifice than most think. However,
the next time you are overworked, coaches, underpaid and
criticized, just find solace in knowing that the game of
basketball, football, soccer…is bigger than you or me. The show
must go on and we don’t have time to feel sorry for ourselves.
We must do our jobs with pride and dedication.
Speaking as a citizen and God fearing woman, wouldn’t the world
be a better place if everyone remembered and embraced the poem?
In this microwave generation that we live in, we put ourselves
above all else. If we would be selfless in our dealings with
others, wouldn’t the world be better off?
We wonder why
relationships fail. We worry too much about how we feel and not
about the other person’s feelings. Churches don’t operate
efficiently because members sit in the pews and complain and
want things done like they’ve been done for 100 years. I could
go on but you get the point.
Now let me get off my soap box and back to being a collegiate
coach. The bottom line here is that the show must go on! Life
must and will keep on churning long after I am gone. This thing
called LIFE is way BIGGER THAN ME!
