 REPORTER:
How did you feel about getting the win?
COACH: To be honest, I am kind a pissed off. I was
hoping to get back home so I could watch "Joe Millionaire."
Now I have to stay and coach another game.
REPORTER: Your team was very animated after the win.
Can you talk about that?
COACH: They were just happy as hell that they didn't
have to have watch "Joe Millionaire" with me.
REPORTER: How big is this win for your program?
COACH: Well, it was nice, but our men's intramural
cricket team won their first-ever match today.
REPORTER: Your next opponent will present a lot of
problems for you. Do you think you have a chance?
COACH: Hell, you're right we've got no shot so we'll
probably just skip the game and get back to campus.
REPORTER: What was the
key to the win?
COACH: We scored more points. [
READ ENTIRE FEATURE ]
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THE FRENCH DISCONNECTION
Moving right along, our next feature film is "Rugrats in
Paris," which centers on the pre-school tone of the
country's foreign affairs policy. Terrific for the kids and
adults will chuckle at the antics of the characters,
including "Chucky," played by Jacques Chirac. |
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THE SIGNS
When you are walking through the mall in December and a
young child asks if you are Santa Claus; that is a sign that
you are a member of the "Portly and Stout" club. Each of us
probably has a long list of "signs," which can be very
telling as to the day's outcome. |
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MAGARITY'S MEAN MACHINE
I tell you what, you put me at one tackle and Iona's Jeff
Ruland at the other end of the line and that would be a
pretty impressive set of bookends. That gave me the idea to
assemble my own squad, which will take on all comers. So
lets go to war. |
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THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT
"A Miracle on 34th Street" and "The Grinch" are family
favorites, but they won't be viewed in front of a roaring
fire in the Magarity household. Instead, my lovely wife and
three children will join me for "Santa Claus Conquers the
Martians." |
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THE
WOMEN OF BOND
Only
Dave Magarity could find a way to combine the
beauty of America's Pastime and the beauty of
Raquel Welch into one feature. Magarity takes
a closer look at Ms. Welch and some of the
best Baseball movies ever made. [
With
all due respect to Mike Krzyzewski, there is only one
Duke. John Wayne is a legend. Certainly his swagger and
un-phased demeanor are still present today in beautiful
Poughkeepsie, New York on the campus of Marist College.
[
In
case you may have missed the announcement, RCA has
released a new CD, containing Elvis' 30 greatest hits. I
plan on dusting off my rhinestone suit, slipping on my
blue suede shoes, gluing on the old side burns and
heading down to the store to pick up my copy.
[
Horror
fans across the country will love this one. There is no
question in my mind that this is a work of film art.
It?s Bruce Lee clashing with Bram Stoker. It?s a
theatrical masterpiece, ?The Legend of the Seven
Golden Vampires.?
[