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  JUMP SHOTS

Boys to Men

By THE GRASSHOPPER


The Grasshopper is impressed with the great job turned in by Kent State's Jim Christian  (AP).

Here we go sports fans. It's about to go down. My palms are getting sweaty. It's time to put up or shut up. The brackets will be out and I'm going to fill out every one I get my hands on. I'm going to surf the Internet all night long and enter every bracket contest there is. I need the dough just like anyone else?

College Basketball in March, great time of year. This is where boys become men. This is where the big time "money" players step up. Coaches coach, players play. (And officials officiate, I think)

This could be the first year in a long time where up to 30 teams can win the National Championship. But one team that will not be winning it are the Cleveland State Vikings. No sir, first year head coach Mike Garland was bounced out of the Horizon league tournament Tuesday losing to Perry Watson and the Detroit Titans. The Vikings finished the season riding a 23 game losing streak.

But I'm sure Mike Garland will bounce back next season.

Did you see where Shaq shot 2 for 13 against the Rockets from the free-throw line. Young fella's, make those freebies if you expect to advance in the tournament.

Speaking of shooting, Sir Iverson from the Sixers shot 2 for 21 from the field against the Knicks?

I would watch out for the Rams of Rhode Island. After giving St. Joe's all they can handle last week, they turn around and stun Dayton at the buzzer. Jimmy Baron's crew is 18-12 on the year. (If Baron doesn't win Coach of the Year in the conference, heads should roll) They beat Providence 89-79, won at Kent State, knocked of Charlotte, and gave Seton Hall all they could handle, falling short by eight points. This is a dangerous squad led by Dawan Robinson and Brian Woodward. The Rams just need a good showing in the A-10 tournament?I think coach Baron would make a great choice for the St. John's head job.

Speaking of Rhode Island, how about the job former Ram Jim Christian is doing at Kent?

Here's an idea to ponder. How about giving the NCAA automatic bid to the regular season champ? I mean, why play a million games, come out on top after a long season, and then risk getting bumped in the first round of your conference tourney?

Have you ever noticed that every month on the cover of Men's Health magazine, there is always a story on (How to have better Sex or Get great abs in seven days)? I've been reading that mag for years and I still can't get good abs nor can I have better sex!

Yo Bobby Bonds, fess up? Speaking of BB, I have to go for my weekly drug test this afternoon.

It's so true about "all good things coming to an end." Duke and Pitt's home court winning streak came to an end this week.

I'm listening to an announcer this week doing college hoops (no not my boy JB) and the game goes into overtime, so the team who gets the jump-ball tap is setting up their offense and the announcer says, "well Michigan State has the first possession so that means they will have one more possession in over - time." Yeah duh, but what does that mean? And then he goes on to say, 'it'll be interesting to see how Wisconsin responds, because Michigan State has had one more day off then the Badgers."

I turned to my wife and asked, "what'd he just say?" What in the world do those two comments mean? Wisconsin won the game?

I'm seriously thinking about giving up my job as a ticket scalper and going into broadcasting.

Yo Coach K, simmer down brother, you got some big games ahead of you and your squad needs you.

How about my guy Sean Penn winning the Oscar? Hands down, he is one of the best five actors of all-time. Along with Pacino, De Niro, Nicholson and my man Sam Jackson!

Did you see Charlize Theron Oscar's night? Mama-mia! Her and her beau, looked like they just came from a tanning salon!

Hey, I love the Harrick's as much as the next guy, and I'm not here to diss Junior on his exam questions for the basketball class he taught at Georgia but, "How many points does a three-point goal account for?"

You have to check out the show "Celebrities Uncensored" on the 'E' channel.

Gas is going to be three-bucks a pop in my area so it looks like the Grasshopper will be using public transportation?

Paul Hewitt is a smooth cat?

I will not, and I repeat, I will not go see 'Starsky & Hutch."

Thanks to 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' my wardrobe, looks, and self-esteem has improved?

I really feel it's time college basketball fans take a chill-pill?Their screams and chants at opposing players and coaches is getting a little tired. And I'm sick of fans storming the court, that's played out!

What does it mean when the boss says, "we need to go in a different direction?" I think it's just a 'politically correct way' to say, "you're fired!" They should be like Donald Trump on 'The Apprentice" YOU'RE FIRED!

If I were going to a brawl, I'd want these guys behind me, ready to throw down.

Carl Krauser (Pittsburgh), Jameer Nelson (St. Joe's), Chuck Hayes (Kentucky), Andre Emmitt (Texas Tech), Kris Humphries (Minnesota), Craig Smith (Boston College), Jitim Young (Northwestern) and Jeff McMillian (USC).

Best center in college basketball that you have never heard of? Try David Simon from IPFW. A transfer from Loyola (Chicago) who actually played volleyball there.

I can't tolerate today's rap music so I dusted off my old school "Def Jam" box collection. Slick Rick, Public Enemy, Third Base, EPMD, Warren G, Beastie Boys, and even my man, Montell Jordan.

Memo to all networks out there in television land. Why don't you show more women's college basketball then the soft-porn junk!

On a serious note, I'm rooting harder for Marquette assistant Trey Schwab, then anyone else in the country. C'mon T-Schwab, I wanna see you back on that bench!!! Drop him a note if you haven't already.

 

 


 
 
 
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