>>> Coach Magarity Recaps the Second Round Results

>>> Coach Magarity Breaks Down the First Round Results

>>> Jalen Rose Previews the Field of 65
 

THE ASSISTANT COACH FIASCO

Hey dawg. Yo dawg. Your dawg. My dawg. This dawg. That dawg. Snoop dawg. Cat dawg.

Many of you have wondered why it took so long for the next round to be completed, well now you have the answer -- With all the “DAWG” talk I lost my way and ended up in Madison Square Garden for the Westminster Kennel Club “Dawg” Show. I am not sure how much more of this that I can tolerate.

Luckily we have reached the final stage, before the Fashionable 4. It’s the Elegant 8.

As you may recall, last Monday I had some real issues with UCLA’s Kerry Keating advancing to the round of eight. And that is not the only protest I have filed during this year’s fashion tourney.

I thought it was important to get some answers so I tracked down the lovely Ms. Lento, who decides who wins and who goes home.

Lento: “The decision of the judge is final,” says Lento. “I did receive your protest, regarding Kerry Keating. And I received the other dozen or so grievances you filed. They have all been reviewed.”

Magarity: “What about my initial grievance?”

Lento: “If you are referring to your request to have the tournament renamed to the Dave Magarity Invitational, yes I did receive that.”

Magarity: “And?”

Lento: “I have asked Don Harnum (Rider) and Seth Greenberg (Virginia Tech) to review the request.”

We’ll get back to Angela a little later on…

There were a number of interested onlookers on this day. Stanford’s Trent Johnson was talking shop with Willis Wilson (Rice), while George Mason’s Jim Larranaga was giving his protégé Bill Courtney (George Mason) a pep talk.

Then I saw my pal Bo Ryan (Wisconsin) who was keeping tabs on his fellow Philadelphians, Bruiser Flint (Drexel) and Jay Wright (Villanova).

“It doesn’t get better than this,” said Ryan. “Bruiser and Jay. You talk about two sharp-dressed guys. Both guys have to win today and that would pair them up against one another in the Fashionable 4. The winner of that contest would have to be the favorite to win it all in St. Louis. The title of Philly’s best will be on the line.”

So what do you think about renaming this event, the Dave Magarity Invitational?

“I don’t know about that,” laughed Ryan. “Maybe one bracket for your Portly & Stout guys would work. But if Angela goes that route then I want a Master’s bracket for all of us older guys.”

Tremendous ideas, coach. I will submit that request to the fashion panel as well.

Telemundo: “Los competidores han tomado sus lugares en el pasadizo así que dejan para comenzar competencias de hoy en los ocho elegantes.”

Translation: “The competitors have taken their places on the catwalk so lets begin today's contests in the Elegant Eight.”

Magarity: “Didn’t you forget something?

Telemundo: “Recibido por el David muy hermoso Magarity.”

Translation: “Hosted by the very handsome David Magarity.”


THE ASSISTANT COACH FIASCO

“What’s up dawg?”

As long as everyone is throwing the word around, I thought I would anoint myself as “the Big Dawg” and the Big Dawg is getting tired of listening to all these small dogs bark.

Telemundo: “Y el coche Magarity es verdad un perro muy grande.”

Translation: “And coach Magarity truly is a very Big Dog.”

Harnum: “A dawg with gigantic head!”

Smart move by at least three of the Elegant Eight finalists for showing up at the inaugural Cigar gathering. George Mason’s Bill Courtney was in the house and let me add that he is on the edge of joining the Portly & Stout club.

Mr. Courtney, who has the daunting task of battling Garland Mance (Rutgers), had his own contingent on hand for the evening’s event. Former GMU assistant and current Longwood coach, Mike Gillian was on hand, along with current GMU assistant Eric Konkol.

Kerry Keating (UCLA) also had a support staff, flanked by the incomparable Larry Keating. The younger and less stylish Keating seemed well prepared for his meeting with Chad Dollar (Georgia Southern). Angela Lento visited with this wannabe style guy.

Lento: “How much do you know about Chad?”

Keating: “When I started preparation for my Elegant 8, I made sure that I used my contacts both in the SoCon and the Dollar family to get the advance scout.”

Lento: “Can you elaborate?”

Keating: “Dating back to my days in the SoCon at Appalachian state, I firmly remember the six-hour bus trip from Boone to Statesboro, and how it was a ‘three movie trip.’ I also distinctly remember not seeing any sign of a men's clothing store at any point during the ride, so I figured Chad either travels to Atlanta, or he relies on Cameron, his brother and my fellow Pac 10 assistant at Washington. I was wrong on both accounts.”

Lento: “It sounds as though you believe that Cameron was overlooked by the fashion selection committee?”

Keating: “Let me first state that the second best dressed assistant in the PAC 10 is not Riddick (Brian Loyd), but Dollar. He keeps it simple, sharp, always buttoned – obviously carries a big influence in his closet from his days in Westwood. He has learned well.

Lento: “I sense a little jab at Brian Loyd.”

Keating: “As for Loyd, well, the results speak for themselves. He is shopping right now, still reeling from the defeat in the round of 16. Next year, I predict one thing for Loyd. Pain. As in the hurt he will feel chasing me and Dollar all season long.”

Magarity: “Hey smooth guy. How about just answering the lady’s questions about Dollar?”

Keating: “With respect for Cameron's gear, I figured Chad to provide some stiff competition. But let's not forget, he is a 12 seed in the region, and no matter who he defeated on the way, he still is a 12 seed. Respect for him, but of course, no fear.”

Magarity: “Are you done yet?”

Keating: “Listen Jo Jo Magarity (reference to Joe Joe the Whale in “A Bronx Tale”). I have a few more things to say. Having the experience of being here before, it was just a matter of going to the closet with confidence. And what came out was: the blue/black sharkskin suit, gold tie with blue patterned highlights, custom cut Liste Rouge cotton/cashmere blue windowpane shirt with dark blue lines. Gold silk knots for cuff links, and as always, the Pliners on the feet, black "Jimmy" model.”

Magarity: “Okay, enough already.”

Keating: “As they say on Telemundo, ‘juego finito.’ That's ‘game over’, Jo Jo.”

Magarity: “Hey perro del estilo, hice la lista de los 50 la más atractiva. That means ‘Hey style dog, I made the list of the 50 Sexiest.’”

Keating: “So did I and I might point out that “K” also comes before “M” in the alphabet.”

No question that I will be petitioning the fashion committee to have Keating eliminated in the Elegant 8. I am not sure that I could deal with his West Coast style in the Fashionable 4.

By the way, Chad was taking the more advisable ‘quiet approach.’ My money is on Mr. Dollar.

As much as Keating’s ranting has been a constant annoyance, nothing can compare to the exchange between the boys from Michigan -- The Tony Jones-Jalen Rose show vs. the Bacari Alexander Express.

Alexander, a Perry Watson disciple, has taken it all in stride and was kind enough to visit with me.

Magarity: “What’s up Dawg? Are you ready for Jalen Rose’s Butler?”

Alexander: “This experience has been truly a treat! Now that I've reached the elegant 8 I realize that playtime is over. Let me start by thanking all the outstanding assistants that I've faced thus far. In addition, I want to also thank Jalen and Tony for motivating me with their trash talk.”

Magarity: “What’s it like to be a part of the Elegant 8?”

Alexander: “As a former Harlem Globetrotter and Detroit Pistons Player Programs Coordinator I've had some interesting experiences none of those of which has topped this one so thanks to CollegeInsider.com for that.”

Magarity: “Okay, enough with the cliché’s. How about hammering Jones a little bit?”

Alexander: “Tony Jones has truly come a long way, I must give him credit. However, Polyester and Silk just doesn't get it done the 05'! When you wear a suit it should describe your personality. Tony's suits and comments about me would only tell people that he's loud (especially those suits) and limited in his wardrobe. But to his credit his is the returning champ, so I admire that.”

Magarity: “You were doing well, but then you backed off. No nice remarks. Take Jones apart at the seams and tell me what your approach will be.”

Alexander: “Personally, I will wear my Egyptian Cotton Shirts as well as my Harrods of London Tie. This should give me a great start. By the way, Does Tony even know what Egyptian Cotton is?”

Magarity: “I’ll drink to that. Here’s to hoping that both Jones and Keating get trounced in the Elegant 8.”

My newly appointed fashion color analyst, Sam Scuilli will be along shortly to help with the play-by-play for the Lloyd Pierce (Santa Clara) vs. Brian Townsend (Ohio) contest. Coach Scuilli, who was in attendance for the Cigar gathering, did a tremendous job of calling the action, in the demise of “The Fashion Chronicles of Riddick” (Brian Loyd, Oregon State).
In the meantime I thought we run down the results of the other three regions.

EAST

Garland Mance defeated Bill Courtney: Given Courtney’s size and Portly & Stout potential, I was a little disappointed when Angela announced the winner. However, Garland is a tremendous individual and is very deserving of advancing to the Fashionable 4.

SOUTHEAST

Kerry Keating got past Chad Dollar: What? How did this happen? What the heck is going on here? Since I am good friends with the much more stylish and elder Keating, I will let this one slide. However I do next expect to see the younger Keating advance any further. I cannot believe he is in the Fashionable 4.

MIDWEST

Bacari Alexander TROUNCED Tony Jones: I enjoyed using that word, “trounced.” This is an outstanding result. Hey Jones and Rose, what do you have to say now? There will be a new champion in 2005.

WEST

And now let me bring my esteemed colleague, Sam Scuilli to breakdown the final act of the day, between Lloyd Pierce and Brian Townsend.

Scuilli: “Thanks Dave. After his stirring comeback over B. Loyd, LP did not rest on his laurels. His vision and passion for victory is only tempered by his grace and class. There was no trash talking, no preening, and certainly none of the ‘thumbs under the jersey to show off the name’ activities that we have seen in the other, less prestigious tournament. Players may do that to draw attention to themselves. Gentlemen, especially well dressed gentlemen, do not need to resort to such infantile devices.”

Magarity: “Let me add that “The Fashion Chronicles of Riddick” is no longer playing in theatres. I just wanted to make that clear.”

Scuilli: “Dave, the next matchup features the dapper youngster against a sturdy opponent from the Midwest. I have never seen Mr. Townsend, and cannot comment directly on his wardrobe, style, or versatility. I do know, however, that the different locations must play a crucial role in determining the outcome.”

Magarity: “Sam, I have to say that I am little disappointed that you didn’t gather more information on coach Townsend, but I will let that slide. Since you can’t expand on the competition, give us a little more insight into Lloyd.”

Scuilli: “LP is a Californian. His manifestation of California style embraces the fresh, creative, and energetic sense of the ‘Golden State.’ More importantly, LP has the fashion capitals of San Francisco and Los Angeles at his beck and call to not only expand his wardrobe, but to keep himself at the cutting edge in all of the major categories. Mr. Townsend must be solid to have advanced this far in the tournament, but how much farther can he be expected to move forward given the limited fashion outlets of the Buckeye State? After perusing his bio, I am admittedly loathe to incite the anger of a former NFL linebacker, but I must question his ability to compete in this rarefied air given his relative lack of geographical diversity.”

Magarity: “How about my tremendous sense of style?”

Scuilli: “Why don’t we just check with Telemundo for Angela’s decision of this contest?”

Telemundo: “En una competencia muy cercana, Lloyd perfora afilado fuera de Brian Townsend para avanzar a los 4 de moda y el coche Magarity todavía tiene una cabeza algo grande.”

Harnum: “They said, Pierce won and Magarity still has a rather large head.”

Telemundo: “Hoy era verdad una reunión de enormes individuos. Le veremos en los 4 de moda.”

Translation: “Today was truly a gathering of tremendous individuals. We will see you at the Fashionable 4.”

CLICK HERE to see all the Runway to the Fashionable 4 results.