ASSISTANT COACH TOURNAMENT

There was a lot of chatter on the head coach stage, but it was nothing compared to the trash talking among the assistant coach competitors. And let me tell you, there are some guys here who really think they are smooth. And I emphasize the word “think.”

Top seed, Brian Loyd (Oregon State) thinks he’s a modern day Shaft and Kerry Keating (UCLA) seems to think he invented the word “fashion.” And we also have some celebrity look-a-likes on the stage.

Joel Sobotka (Cal-State Northridge) looks like an Anthony Edwards clone and I’d swear that Garland Mance (Rutgers) was actually the actor, Bokeem Woodbine.

It didn’t take long for me to conclude that there wasn’t a single competitor that was either as good-looking or as fashionable as yours truly.

2004 champion Tony Jones (Wisconsin-Milwaukee) stopped by to chat, after winning his first round contest.

“I respect all,” says Jones, “but I fear none.”

Jones seemed to be beaming with confidence, after advancing to the Sweet Sixteen and the second round of the fashion tournament. I thought it was time to get some insight into this rumor about him being Jalen Rose’s butler.

“Kerry (Keating) likes to talk a lot,” says Jones. “He keeps talking about these fancy watches he has, but he should know that it’s Tony Jones’ time now. The way Angela set up the brackets, I would meet Kittle n’ Bits in the Fashionable 4. I hope that happens so we can put to rest this butler thing.”

Adding more fuel to the fire, Jones’ pal Jalen Rose had some thoughts as well.

“There is a big difference between being stylish and thinking you are stylish,” says Rose. “Kerry isn’t even the best-dressed in his own apartment and I am pretty sure he doesn’t have a roomie.”

We will be revisiting the Jones-Keating-Rose feud.

There were a number of surprises in the Head Coach brackets, but it was nothing compared the flurry of upsets on the Assistant Coach stage. Here is a little breakdown of the surprises.

No. 16 Devon Smith (Oakland) defeated No. 1 Melvin Watkins (Missouri): A No. 1 has fallen in the Head Coach field in the past, but this is a first in the Assistant tourney. It’s another shocker for the Golden Grizzlies.

No. 15 Nick Earnest (San Diego) defeated No. 2 Ronny Thompson (Arkansas): This arguably even more stunning. What were the odds that both Earnest and Holland would advance? There may need to be an investigation.

No. 15 Donald Whiteside (Northern Illinois) defeated No. 2 Johnny Dawkins (Duke): I understand that coach Whiteside is pretty confident about his attire. Well he must be really jawing now, after beating Duke.

No. 14 Korey White (Northern Arizona) defeated No. 3 Monte Mathis (Xavier): Mathis was a fixture in Angela’s FPI, but apparently he didn’t have enough big stage experience.

No. 13 Vin Parise (Iona) defeated No. 4 Billy Garrett (Seton Hall): Obviously Vin has excelled in spite of his current boss, Jeff Ruland. Big boy, you know who has more style.

No. 12 Bobby Kummer (Charlotte) defeated No. 5 Rob Jeter (Wisconsin): How did this happen?

No. 12 Chad Dollar (Georgia Southern) defeated No. 5 Cliff Warren (Georgia Tech): The SoCon downing the ACC always makes for good fashion talk. Apparently style and a “Dollar” does get you more than just a cup of coffee.

No. 11 Jeff Estis (UMBC) defeated No. 6 Lewis Preston (Notre Dame): I am just wondering how Estis even made the field, let alone beat Preston. Are you serious Angela?

“Every year an 11 seed takes out a 6,” said Estis “There is no question that, with his Big East budget, he was overlooking me.”

Don’t you just love the confidence of these guys?

One of the more highly anticipated contests pitted rival schools, St. Mary’s and Santa Clara. There was quite a lot of interest from West Coast fans, to find out the result of the Lloyd Pierce (Santa Clara) vs. Lamont Smith (St. Mary's) matchup.

“Whenever you get other coaches to shake your hand and comment on how sharp you look, I think you automatically should receive a first round bye,” said Pierce. “Not to mention, I even made Sportscenter for the Coaches vs. Cancer top ten as they previewed coaches in their sneakers. Mind you, I was the only assistant previewed along with the likes of other High Major Head Coaches. Shows that even in a suit and Nike Air Force Ones, I make this look good.”

It must be the shoes money. What about your opponent?

“In all honesty, if I can't get to the final stages of this tournament I may have to stage a protest on the voting committee at hand.”

Well coach you did make it to the next round.

I am not sure I will be able to continue covering this Assistant Coach tournament. There are too many “cool” guys. I think this would be a good beat for Harnum to cover.

The fields will be reduced to the Sensational Sixteen on Wednesday, March 23.

CLICK HERE to see all the Runway to the Fashionable 4 results.