CLICK HERE to read Dave Magarity's review of a holiday classic

I have received quite a few responses from fans, regarding my review of the timeless holiday class, "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians." It is funny how many people are actually very familiar with the sci-fi classic.

But what is more amusing to me is the recent banter from Morehead State coach Kyle Macy. It appears that Kyle has some issues with me having my own bobble head doll, courtesy of my friends at CollegeInsider.com.

Kyle is just jealous because he will not be a part of my "Portly and Stout" bobble head collection. In the coming years, with the help of CollegeInsider.com and BPICollectibles.com, I will be adding some other big men to the collection.

You can expect to see Jeff Ruland (Iona) and Pat Kennedy (Montana) as part of my "Portly and Stout" collection, but you won't see Kyle Macy as part of this collection.

Given my rather large cranium, we have given thought to doing the "Over-Sized Skull" collection, which would then include Kyle Macy.

Kyle, I want to make sure I am clear on this? Do you coach at Morehead or Forehead State? Just want to make sure I had it right.

Now for my rendition of 'Twas the Night before Christmas?

'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE CHRISTMAS

'Twas the night before Christmas, at the Magarity home . . .
South Florida's Seth Greenberg has college basketball's best dome.

The banners were hung, from the rafters with care . . .
In hopes that St. Nicholas would bring Purdue's Gene Keady a little more hair.

Steve Lavin was nestled all snug in his bed . . .
While visions of hair gel products danced in his head.

Forget the 'kerchief, and I don't wear a hat . . .
I am portly and stout so don't call me fat.

Then out in my front yard there arose such a clatter . . .
I sprang from the bed to see what was the hell was the matter.

Away to the window I flew like a flash or as fast a man of my size and girth can dash.
To see Eddie Munster, I mean Billy Donovan doing the Monster Mash.

The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow . . .
Hey Billy, Lavin, Timmy Welsh (Providence) and the rest, the gel has got to go

Then what to my wondering eyes should appear on the table next to my bed?
But a Kyle Macy bobble head doll, with a tremendous forehead.

No, it wasn't Kyle, The Grinch or the Rugrats in Paris . . .
I thought for a moment it must be Rick Majerus.

More rapid than technicals his coursers they came . . .
And he hollered, and screamed, and called them by name.

"Now, (Melvin) Watkins! Now, (John) Calipari! Now, (Gary) Waters and (Jay) Wright!
On, Willis (Wilson)! On Bruiser (Flint)! On Bob (McKillop) -- guys give up the fight.

To the edge of the runway! To the top of the wall!
No question I am the best looking and the most stylish of them all!

As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly . . .
Hold on, I have to get the door; it's the Domino's guy.

So up to the housetop the Hawk, Phil Martelli flew . . .
Phil is a great coach who happens to resemble his team's mascot too.

And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof. . .
It was my pal Skip Prosser with a bottle of 100 proof.

As I drew in my head and was turning around . . .
I literally overlooked Southwest Missouri State's Barry Hinson who is a little closer to the ground.

He was dressed all in fur, from his head to his toe . . .
At Bruiser Flint's house Santa says Yo, Yo, Yo!

A bundle of toys he had flung on his back . . .
I might be big, but I am in tremendous shape and that is a fact.

His eyes twinkled and his dimples were filled with joy . . .
Rump-a-pump-pump, Evansville's Steve Merfeld is the Little Drummer Boy.

His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow tie . . .
Mount St. Mary's Jim Phelan is one hell of a good guy!

The stump of a pipe he held tight in his jaw . . .
Doesn't North Carolina assistant Bob MacKinnon look like a character from Hee-Haw?

He had a broad face and a big round belly . . .
Oh that's not Santa, it's Iona's Jeff Ruland going into the deli.

Chubby and plump, a right jolly old guy . . .
Is that Niagara's Joe Mihalich or Montana's Pat Kennedy up in the sky?

A wink of his eye and a twist of his head . . .
At Skyline Chili Bob Huggins is definitely well fed.

He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work . . .
That was a horrible $^&#)@ call you $*)#_@*& jerk!

Laying his finger aside of his nose . . .
He left Kelvin Sampson a new blue-denim shirt and then up the chimney he rose.

He sprang to his sleigh, while blowing that whistle . . .
And away he flew like the down of a thistle.

But I heard him exclaim, as he drove out of sight . . .
"Happy Christmas to all coaches, because you can't lose a game tonight."