Dave Magarity -- The Blob

Last season I boldly decided to go where no coach had previously gone when I authored up a theatrical review of the film "The Perfect Storm."

Since that time many have questioned my sanity especially after I penned critiques of the horror classics "The Legend of the Seven Golden Vampires" and "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians." No doubt that these titles grace the shelves of avid movie fans everywhere.

As we prepare to embark on another season of college basketball I felt it was time to make my way to the Magarity masterpiece theatre vault for another outstanding film.

I gave serious consideration to breaking down American institutions like "The Godfather" or "Patton," but thought better of it and opted for screen legend Steve McQueen's first lead role in "The Blob."

This 1958 Sci-Fi classic was the chilling thriller of the day.

A meteor crashes to earth releasing a red, gelatinous glob. As it devours its' mass continues to grow. Having putting in some overtime in the kitchen I can relate to its? rapid growth rate.

The protoplasmic gel-like substance oozes through a small town consuming everything in its' path. As I watched this gooey red glob roll along I could not help to think that UCLA coach Steve Lavin's excess hair gel was used by the special effects department.

Come on. Is it me or do Lavin and Florida's Billy Donovan go a little too heavy on the gel products? "L.A. Looks" would be good endorsement money, Steve.

Speaking of heavy, if you threw a white sweater on "The Blob" you'd have Utah coach Rick Majerus. This creature might be alien to earth, but protein consumption is not a foreign concept to stout, big-framed guys like Rick and myself.

As this mass ravages a small town, McQueen, who by the way reminds me a lot of me in my younger days -- fit and good looking, tries desperately to stop "The Blob" before it gobbles up the community.

I must say that I was very disappointed with the casting of McQueen's love interest in the film. Aneta Corseaut's presence on the screen was a good time for me to head off to the snack stand for popcorn.

No question that creature was selective. Had they cast a more attractive, skin-exposed starlight, ?"The Blob" would have devoured her first.

I mean come on, Ms. Corseaut played Andy Taylor's longtime girlfriend on ?The Andy Griffith Show.?

As the film reaches its' dramatic climax, the Jeff Ruland (Head Coach, Iona), sorry I meant "The Blob," rolls out of a theatre having snacked on numerous unsuspecting movie goers.

It proceeded to consume an entire diner, which I know Ruland has attempted to do on more than one occasion. However this time the alien life form has bitten off a little more than it can chew.

McQueen discovers that cold air can stop this eating machine so the towns? people round up fire extinguishers to subdue it.

My top assistant, Steve Sauers, pointed out that they didn't need cold air to corner the creature, but rather just lead it into my office. If it were to consume me it would have a real tough time getting out the door again.

By the way, the great Burt Bacharach composed the theme song, "Beware of The Blob," which was performed by, and I am not kidding, "The Five Blobs." I know Ruland and Majerus were waiting for me to expand on their musical talents.

For those of you are riveted by the thought of seeing this cultural classic it is available in most video rental stores. More difficult to locate are the two sequels. In 1972 Larry Hagman and Burgess Meredith starred in "Son of Blob" and Kevin Dillon grabbed the lead role in the 1988 version, "The Blob."

Throughout the course of the 2001-2002 season I will recommend more theatrical masterpieces. Keep in mind that coaches across America search vigorously for videos to show their respective teams on bus rides to and from games.

Marist College is not the only program that has five or six-hour trips via bus so it's important to provide entertainment. Along with a feature review, I will offer up some selections, which should go over well with the youth of today.

Here is this weeks' starting five:

FREQUENCY: This film did not get a lot of publicity, but it's a dandy. Dennis Quad and Jim Caviezel, who had his breakthrough role in "The Thin Red Line," star in this clever thriller. Past and present collide as Caviezel's character tries to change history and bring back his father. Never before has a film been done like "Frequency." Go out and rent this one today. I guarantee you will be glad you did!

EXECUTIVE DECISION: Oliver Platt, Kurt Russell, Steven Seagal and the lovely Halle Berry star in this suspense thriller in which an elite military team must board an airborne, hijacked plane to defuse a nerve gas bomb that could wipe out the entire East Coast. The thugs get more than they bargained for. Excellent film.

THE JACKAL: Bruce Willis plays the world's most feared assassin who is hired to take out a high-profile target in the United States. FBI agent Sidney Poitier teams up with an I.R.A. soldier, played by Richard Gere, to stop "The Jackal" before he completes his mission. This is an outstanding suspense film.

SLEEPERS: Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Brad Pitt and Kevin Bacon highlight an all-star cast in this powerful and gripping story of four boys who are sadistically violated and tortured, by guards, at the Wilkinson School for Boys. They vow to put the events behind them, but fate brings them face to face with those who so wrongly abused them. Friendship and revenge are themes in this electrifying film based on the allegedly true story by Lorenzo Carcaterra. Superb film.

MAGNUM FORCE: Clint Eastwood stars as Harry Callahan in the sequel to "Dirty Harry." The plot involves a rogue element in the San Francisco Police Department that are taking justice into their own hands. In one scene, a plane is hijacked and the thugs demand a new pilot be brought on board to fly them to their destination. Inspector Callahan poses as an air captain and deals with the filth, as only he knows how. Non-stop action packed movie.