WHAT HAVE "REALLY" LEARNED
By Kerry Keating, Santa Clara

We learned that consistency didn't help this year. SEVEN straight fashionable fours, 5 title appearances, 2 titles (although sharing one with Jones in '03 still questionable) and 2 trips to the title runway in first 2 years as a head coach didn't mean SQUAT this year. I get it And I completely agree with the committee, they always get it right.

We learned that apparently they have a soft side, because they STILL let Seth in the field! Seth, I'm not even 40, and I could retire into the Fashionable 4 Hall of Fame with that seven-year run. As for Seth? If he somehow finds himself even in a position for a title PLEASE call me first. My hair is falling out and I'd rather go rug than go chrome dome and have you drag my career to ruins with your lack of fashion sense. I call truce Seth, it's time to call Elfa and redo your closet.

We learned that the Assistant Coaches tourney is now known as the Bacari Alexander Invitational. Obviously since I left the AC ranks, BA has flourished with back to back titles, following 2 other titles in '05 and '07, and a runner up in '08. Wow, Seth - get this guy on your staff or at least visit him in the off-season and go the BAFC (Bacari Alexander Fashion Camp). I heard he will do consults for a reasonable fee. Seth, use that latest bump wisely - give some to BA for advice.

We learned that having a tailor is important, but making sure that the tailor knows your sense of style is just as important. (See Bacari Alexander)

We learned that Seth obviously doesn't have a tailor. Or one that can make any sense out of an Orange and Brown color palettes.

We learned that SBCA stands not for Stylish and Bald Coaches Association rather Somebody Buy Coach an Armani - Seth, let's face it, your dome can only take so much attention away from that atrocious wardrobe, if that's what you call it. Send me your address, I'll have my staff send you last years suits they no longer need.

We learned (but we actually already knew) that Seth is good for the fashion game, because someone has to be so bad so that George Zimmer guarantees you'll look good against him.

We learned that Seth is the Derek Zoolander of the Fashionable 4 ("Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this?") Obviously no one on the committee has realized Seth has worn the same suit for at least 3 years in a row. Again, Orange and Brown will really mess with one's visual abilities. IT'S THE SAME SUIT!

Homage to my man Calogero at the end of Bronx Tale: Joe and Angela always told me that when I become a Head Coach I would understand. Well, I finally did. Lost in the second round. I Learned not to take anyone (Asbury) lightly, I learned that Windsor Knots are just as important as bow ties. I learned that accessories and shoes are the key to success. You just have to accept that if a guy has no hair, he really doesn't have to shampoo his dome. The saddest thing in fashion is wasted use of colors and patterns, and the suits you have today will be old tomorrow. But you can ask anyone from Blacksburg to Napa, and they'll tell you this is just another Fashionable Four.


* The actual quote from the movie is: Sonny and my father always said that when I get older I would understand. Well, I finally did. I learned something from these two men. I learned to give love and get love unconditionally. You just have to accept people for what they are, and I learned the greatest gift of all. The saddest thing in life is wasted talent, and the choices that you make will shape your life forever. But you can ask anybody from my neighborhood, and they'll just tell you this is just another Bronx tale.