Jill Montgomery Bio

OUTRAGE AND EUPHORIA ON THE RUNWAY
by Jill Montgomery

Round one ruffled a lot of feathers... thank God the Committee didn’t have to witness any ruffled shirts. My grandmother once told me “Give a man an outfit; he is styled for a day. Teach a man to dress and he is styled for a lifetime!” Well it looks like a few of our Assistant and Head Coaches had some BRILLIANT grandmothers as well. There were some pretty epic upsets in the Assistant Coaches Bracket. #14 seed and rookie to Fashionable 4, Carmen Maciariello (Fairfield) upset #5 Reggie Hanson. Carmen said:

“I’m ecstatic! I’m going to celebrate tonight. Didn’t know if I could do it but I try to keep it fresh and I’m happy with the win.” And on going up against old friend Eric Eaton of Quinnipiac in the second round, “I change it up every day and don’t have to wear the same, stuffy, vanilla, living in the 90’s basketball polo shirt and khakis to the office everyday so I’m feeling confident. I think my vast array of shoes alone should help me get thru to the next round.”

Right? Whatever happened to rooting for the underdog? And the biggest underdog upset has to go to Kevin “I OWN Twitter” Easley of High Point. Here is a #16 seed taking down #1 by defeating Tony Jones of Tennessee. I will have to say Kevin’s voice on Twitter telling everyone to vote for him and self marketing certainly didn’t hurt. And when I talked to him about meeting Scotty Burrell in the second round he had this to say:

“It’s easy to dress nice when you are working with an NBA wardrobe in your closet or MJ hand me downs out of the locker room of the United Center, I however have to stay fly on ¼ the budget and I will be getting very creative!”

Sounds like our #16 seed is carrying some swagger like UNI did over Kansas. Now, speaking of Kansas, Bill Self was eliminated in the “Style In” contest to Bo Ryan. This was a phone call I thought would be easy figuring I consider Bill a good friend. NOT SO! Turns out “Mr. Aaron Eckhart” was none so pleased with the Committee this year and after numerous tries to his office, his secretary very blatantly pointed out that Coach Self was not available to talk to me. She also informed me that my days at the Salty Iguana were OVER and quite frankly that KU Campus security had my picture and I was not welcome. So, I blocked my number and called Coach Self’s cell phone and after a “warm” reception this is what Bill had to say:

“It is painfully obvious that the Committee has not been to Kansas lately to see how far ahead of the fashion curve we REALLY are. In 2 years you all will be wearing what we where NOW. I hate to agree with Seth but the Head Coach Brackets are a joke. Frank Martin a #1 seed?! He wears the same mean dark suit with some shade lavender every time! As far as the Committee goes, I won’t attack anyone personally (Ms. Montgomery) but I believe it to be totally inept professionally. There have been too many instances in this tournament that I have been shafted and therefore believe the Committee has a vendetta against me. After going thru this experience I think a 96 person expansion is in order.”

Safe to say my last minute ticket requests to any KU game will be denied. Which made me realize just how serious the coaches are taking their wins, losses and seedings. Case in point, the “nasty gram” I received from Western Michigan’s Steve Hawkins. For the record, I think bald IS sexy, however what ISN’T sexy is drawing attention to your “stout and portly-ness” and trying to use it as a crutch. And to this mythical “SBCA” that you and Seth Greenberg are trying to force down the Committee’s throats, go ahead and go with it I had an “imaginary” friend once too…..I was 6! Please stay focused on the competition as you have pulled an amazing upset over a #2 seeded John Calapari.

Speaking of the Head Coaches Brackets “Mr. Sure Thing in the Past” Kerry Keating dropped to a #4 seed this year albeit his wife was about to give birth at the beginning of the tourney so he may have been off his game. Coach, congrats and thanks for the gorgeous picture of Jaxson, but it won’t influence you into the next round. Coach Keating had quite a bit to say on his seed, Seth Greenberg and going up against Tom Asbury in the second round.

“It’s obvious that past performances carry no weight into future tournaments, with my track record I was mortified to see I was a #4 seed! It only proves that the “speculation” of the current committee is all that matters and it is skewed at best. And in reading Seth’s blog, I have one thing to say: Hey Seth if “bald” is the best aspect in your style then you might want to seriously consider getting a complete makeover. Please stop dragging guys like Hawk down to your level just because he is bald but has KEPT his sense of style and you haven’t. It’s embarrassing and PS, the head blade is in the mail, don’t hurt yourself!” On going up against Tom Asbury in the next round, the “shy” Keating had this to say:

“Are you kidding me, ever since he came back to the West Coast Conference he has been wearing the same Johnny Dangerously pinstriped suit. I swear he has a Tommy gun in his office when I go to Malibu. Hey Tom, my mom ties my tie once, ONCE!

So what did the #5 “Dapper Don” Asbury have to say to all of this? With an odd calm to his demeanor he simply said:

“The Committee is dead on in my advancement over Johnny Jones, it was no competition. As for Seth’s comments regarding my wardrobe, all his hair must have fallen out into his eyes because since he was to chicken to play us while he was at Long Beach State he has never seen my style up close.”

And when I asked Tom about being up against the Fashionable 4 veteran in Keating he laughed:

“Kerry is a very impressive dresser and it been easy for him in the past, but all that is about to change, you can’t be too stylish with baby puke on your suits. Hey Kerry, invest in SHOUT.”

I can’t wait to see the hoopla round two brings. As always...

Keep it Sexy!


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